"Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes the ability, capacity, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups."
If you look at the term, 'emotional intelligence', literally, it means having wise emotions, which have the understanding of time and space. This means that you only exhibit your emotions when the moment is right, after gauging the surroundings, and calculating the counter reactions. This is why, this behavior has been deemed as emotional intelligence.
Believe in Your Strength
Your emotional intelligence and performance at work are co-related. When you picked up the job, you knew what you were getting into. Moreover, when the HR selected you for the job, he understood your capabilities. Hence, if your capabilities and your strengths were clear at the time of joining, there is no reason why you should feel stymied now.
If your boss is accusing you of being incompetent, prove him wrong with a knock-out performance. You have always had the strength, it's time you reclaim it.
Say It Right
It's easy to be an extremist and take drastic measures. For, instance, when things get tough for you at office, it doesn't mean you stop being tough. It's easy to put up a fight, call it quits and leave, but it is even harder to practice patience at the workplace, and with colleagues.
Patiently, listen to what your boss and subordinates have to say. Avoid retaliation at every cost. They are not trying to single you out, it's their handicap that they do not understand workplace ethics. They are saying it, to get you annoyed and worked up. So, if you react, that would be adding fuel to the fire.
Hence, an intelligent decision would be performing to the best of your ability and saying it right with your action, more than words.
Befriend Your Co-Workers
Statements like, 'co-workers cannot be friends' are not completely true. If you are spending good 9-12 hours everyday in a place with the same people, you are bound to develop bonds that will be special to you. Thus, make friends, but ensure that you do not dish out more than necessary information.
It is important to be emotionally intelligent and not just emotional. In the long run, these co-workers will be your support system to climb the ladder of success or to help you get back on your feet when you are down.
Wear Your Attitude
Your attitude is your power of perception. Your perception becomes your judgment, which decides your action. It is important that you rate yourself as much as you rate your boss. If you give your boss more importance than yourself, naturally, the element of fear is going to creep into your professional life.
The day you joined your organization, is the day you started a relationship with it. It is from then on, that you will take it forward, and not prior to that. So forget about all the preconceived notions and the myth that your boss is greater than you.
Remember you are more important to yourself, above everything else in the world. Getting overwhelmed with expectations, duties, and responsibilities will only get in your way of being successful.
In the maddening race of materialism, we are so engrossed in trying to possess greatness, that we forget the fact that greatness can never be captured. Buddha said, if you let go of your expectations, you will have no pain.
Release yourself from all the fears about corporate world, about your capabilities, about work culture and most importantly, your boss. Forget all your fears, to allow confidence to work for you and greatness, will follow you automatically. You will be your best if you be yourself.
A balanced, and prudent frame of mind is very essential to reach the pinnacle of success. Those stuck in labyrinth of emotions, sink deeper and deeper in its abyss. To rise up, it's important to be practical, realistic and to see the bigger picture life has to offer you.